I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel guilty over the limitations my chronic illness puts on me. I feel bad that I have to cancel plans at the last minute. Or I feel bad that I can’t make it in to work and have to cancel meetings. And sometimes I feel bad if I have to skip town because of a hurricane coming.

But lately, God has been teaching me that this is misplaced guilt. And he’s used a popular secular song to trigger my change.

This song is from The Greatest Showman, and some of you may know it. It’s called “This Is Me,” and it talks about not being ashamed of who you are. Now, let me be clear. I don’t agree with everything this song says. But a few phrases struck a chord with me.

“I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars.”

I have been ashamed of my HM. How self-centered and wrong is that? I’m afraid of what other people will think of me because of my illness.

But God has given me my HM as a gift to use in serving Him. James 1:17 says, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, either shadow of turning.” This gift, though difficult, is good and perfect. I have no right to be ashamed of it.

Psalm 139:14 also says, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” By being ashamed of how God has created me (HM is a result of mutations in four different genes), I am telling Him that I am not fearfully and wonderfully made. That He has made a mistake. And God makes no mistakes. I should be praising Him instead.

“No one’ll love you as you are.”

This is a flat out lie that I think many of us with chronic illness are tempted to believe. I have to remind myself often that God loves me no matter what.

Jeremiah 31:3, “I have loved thee with an everlasting love . . . .”

Romans 5:8, “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

1 John 4:10, “Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”

John 15:13, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

Ephesians 2:4–5, “But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)”

And God’s love is enough. Psalm 27:10 says, “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.” Even if those who should naturally love me more than anyone else don’t, God will love me. And that’s enough if I am living to serve Him.

“I am brave, I am bruised, / I am who I’m meant to be. This is me.”

The point is, this is who God created me to be. There is nothing sinful about being sick. What I should be concerned about is changing what is sinful. And that’s my pride.

It’s my pride that hurts when I have to ask for help. It’s my pride that stings when I worry what people will think of me when I have to cancel plans again. It all comes down to pride and self-focus.

God has a plan in all of this. I may not know what it is. But I am working on accepting who He created me to be and being confident in His plan. His way is best.