When I Want to Give Up

In the fall of 2023, my mom, my brother, and I all received difficult news within a week or two of each other. We have come through those trials—and have walked through worse since then—but the lessons learned during that time were invaluable. I wrote this last fall while everything was happening.

Sometimes, life gets to be too much, and I want to give up. God brings so much into my life that it feels like I’m drowning, that I can’t catch a breath, that I may not survive. But those are the times when He shows Himself the strongest in my life.

And I know how trite that sounds. I’m sometimes annoyed by statements like these. So often people say them either because they don’t know what to say or because they know that’s what they’re supposed to say.

But this statement is true. When I’m completely overwhelmed because of everything God is heaping on me, I see how weak I am. I can’t handle this on my own. I know I need Him. I need His strength to endure and to come through this stronger than when I began.

It’s also when I don’t think I can continue another day under this pressure that I see Him supporting me, sometimes in surprising ways. He provides comfort in His Word and through prayer. He’s given me amazing friends who encourage me by praying for me and reminding me of God’s promises and truth. He uses songs to remind me of what is true. Even writing this list, I am encouraged. He has blessed me in so many ways.

So that leads me to this: How do I keep going when I want to give up? When the third bit of bad news in a week comes—and then the fourth hits a couple weeks later—and I’m numb, what do I do? Here’s what I’ve learned.

Pray

My prayers don’t need to be eloquent, but they do need to be immediate. I’ve found if I don’t turn to God instantly, I start to worry instead. I’ll get wrapped up in the what ifs. Praying immediately refocuses my thoughts on who God is and what He is doing.

As Romans 12:12 says, “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Or as in the KJV, “be instant in prayer.” The Greek word translated as “constant” or “instant” has the idea of persisting obstinately. My mother has called me obstinate often throughout my life, and this is an area where my obstinacy comes in handy. Not only should I have a habit of praying which displays itself by immediately going to God when life gets hard, but I should be stubborn about continuing to pray even when life is so hard I want to give up.

Read my Bible

Though life may be so overwhelming that I can’t focus on in-depth study of God’s Word, I can’t not read it. I need it more than ever. Usually, I turn to the Psalms when life gets rough. It happens that right now, my church’s ladies Bible study is going through Psalms, and that has been so helpful to keep me accountable and in my Bible.

Rest

There was so much that happened within one week recently, that I had a hard time functioning normally. It affected my performance at work and my sleep. I ended up speaking to my work  supervisor about it, and she gave me ideas on how to reorganize my workload so I didn’t have as many brain-heavy tasks that week. I needed that extra rest. I was constantly thinking about everything that was going on, and even though I would refocus my thoughts on God and His plan, I was tired.

Sometimes, the best thing to do is to take a nap. Stress is tiring. Even if we’re handling it properly from a spiritual perspective, there is a physical side of stress that will wear you out. Take a walk, sit outside, take a nap, do something creative—there is more than one way to rest. Find something that gives your brain and your body a break.

Spend Good Time with Good Friends

This is not time spent doing superficial, silly things, though there is an aspect of that type of fellowship that I needed, too. No, I’m talking about deeper, iron-sharpening-iron relationships. Friendships in which you share deep things and encourage each other to grow in Christ. This type of relationship is hard because it requires vulnerability and trust, but it’s valuable and so worth it.

I have a small group of friends that when everything was happening and I needed to not think, I was able to call them, and we organized a Stupid Movie Night on the spot. I’ve also been able to talk to various members of this group about what’s going on, and they remind me they’re praying for me, ask me how I’m doing, and remind me of the truth of God’s Word. “The sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel” (Prov. 27:9).

Take Care of Myself

I’ve been learning a lot about myself through this latest rough patch. For example, I can’t stay in the house all day, every day, for seven days a week. I also need to see and talk to more than just my roommate. Yes, I am an introvert, but all that means is I need time alone to recharge. I really do need to spend time with other people, too. But it should be quality time with quality people.

I also need to eat regularly. Hangry has become a word for a reason. After Elijah defeated the prophets of Baal in 1 Kings 18, he fled because Jezebel threatened to kill him. As a result, he was tired and hungry, and that state seems to have brought about his wishing to die in 1 Kings 19. There is no record of God rebuking Elijah—rather God asks Elijah why he is there and directs his focus off of himself—but God does send an angel to feed and hydrate Elijah. Sometimes when my emotions are out of control, I just need to eat and to drink more water.

Then there’s sleep. I’ve had to break a bad habit of reading on my phone before falling asleep. It hasn’t completely solved my sleep issues, but it has helped. There are so many sources on the internet about how to get a better night’s sleep, and those authors have done far more research than I have. But paying attention to how my body responds to naps, eating a snack before bed, and similar tips have been helpful for me to sleep better. Maybe they will be for you, too.

When life seems like it’s too much, I first must remember that God is still in control. Nothing is ever out of His hands. But then I follow these tips to keep myself grounded on the foundation I built when life was easier.